yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
