I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
