I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
