i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
