New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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