eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
