Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
