I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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