so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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