I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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