These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
