I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
