a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
