So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
