ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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