why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
