Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
