Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She even gives head with a lisp.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I had to cum in my sink.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
