somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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