ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
