what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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