The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
