I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She's the barista slut.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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