Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
