dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
