it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
