i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
