she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
