lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
