This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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