I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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