i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
