Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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