Farmville is her only friend.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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