he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
