also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
