My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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