it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
