why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
