Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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