I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
