Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
