I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
