There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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