well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
