so that wasnt chicken after all
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
