you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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