So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
