She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So many bounce houses so little time
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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