My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
