My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
