Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
