Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
