I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
