the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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