people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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