why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
