Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
