They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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